A coach is a thought-partner to help you figure out your life's choices.
In a one-on-one setting, in the course of a session or series of sessions, a coach creates the space to help you express your goals, explore what's in your way, and make clear choices towards change.
The International Coaching Federation defines coaching this way:
"Partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential."
It's the work of helping you express what's on your mind, so you can find your way forward towards new ways of living and being. Through the work of finding metaphors and analogies, noticing paradoxes and thinking traps, observing your own body language and shifts in tone, a coach will help you listen more closely to your own needs and hopes, so you can move forward with greater clarity.
As the ICF says, "The process of coaching often unlocks previously untapped sources of imagination, productivity, and leadership." It's conversational support and encouragement to help you reach your goals.
What coaching is not
🚫 Not counselling. The valuable work of counselling helps patients unpack their past. Coaching looks towards the future, to help you make new choices, and doesn't view you as a "patient with problems", but as a whole person, with potential.
🚫 Not consulting. A consultant is an expert in a specific field, who is here to Tell You What To Do. Many business experts position themselves as coaches, because they want to sell you a method or an approach that depends on their expertise. The coaching I offer is centered on you and your goals, helping you uncover your own answers.
🚫 Not motivational speaking. Having somebody pump your tires and cheer you on is great. A coach can do that. But a coach will also challenge you, surprise you, or help you slow down.
🚫 Not peer coaching. A peer coach can be a great resource, but without the methodology and certification of ICF backing, conversations can end up feeling circular. To gain traction and truly level-up, ICF-certified coaching has more in the toolkit than standard peer coaching.
🚫 Not sports-style coaching. In athletics, a coach may assign a play, tell you a move, hold you accountable, give discipline, and in general, sculpt the player to fit the coach's plan. Not here. This is about you retaining agency in your own life.
🚫 Not AI. AI will give you answers, rather than ask you questions...further separating you from your own inner wisdom. AI will affirm you without challenging you...further cementing your worldview. AI will work fast, when what you need is slowness. AI will pretend to be your friend, but has no ability to care: this lack of "sacred witnessing" leaves you more isolated and unknown than before. Being seen by another soul is often where the real transformation happens, in the presence of a fellow human.
When is coaching most useful?
When you have a goal, but you're not reaching it.
When you have a project, but you're not making it.
When you have a dream, but you're not doing it.
When you have a life, but you're not living it.
Basically, when you're stuck: when a new habit is needed, or more momentum, or a new perspective, or some encouragement. It's for when you're trying to get there, but you're still here. When you need a creative spark to catch.